Sunday, April 7, 2013

Neverending Story


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            Let me begin by emphatically stating that rape does not discriminate; in any and all of its forms, rape is horrendous and damaging.  I am fully aware that not all men rape; they too can be and often are the victims of sexual assault; not all women are raped and same sex rapes occur on a regular basis as wellHowever, while this blog is not about male bashing, it IS about female affirming!  This blog is a forum dedicated to women's issues and concerns, and we are therefore going to concentrate and focus our thoughts and opinions first and foremost on women.  
The subject of sexual assault against women is ever increasing and ongoing!  The first recorded rape on earth is in Genesis 34 when Dinah is raped by Shechem.  Another recorded incident of rape is in Judges 19 with the rape of the concubine, and a third recorded rape is in II Samuel 13 when Absalom rapes his sister, Tamar.  Notice I have emphasized the word recorded because I am confident that there were many, many more rapes during Biblical times that were not recorded but did indeed occur.  Sexual violence against women can and does happen more than we like to think, and it happens in all venues and environments.  As I always say, rape is not only about sexual pleasure, but it is also about power and control.  I have written numerous articles and an entire book on the subject of sexual assault, and I still do not fully understand why any man would rape when he can get someone to meet his sexual needs.  Do these men not realize or care that there are women who are more than happy to have consensual sex with them? Do these men not realize that many women are initiating sex, dressing for sex, talking, writing and singing about sex and having multiple sexual partners, yet some men still prefer to forcibly take sex!  Its boggles the mind!  I wonder if it is part of this phenomenon where rapists don't want anything that is too easy.  They don't like it when something is handed to them, no way, that would be too much like right!  They want the unattainable, the ones that they can't or shouldn't have, the forbidden, the one who said no. I asked one of my male friends about this issue, and he agreed that part of the reason may be that some men are fearful of women and their power.  A rapist is fearful of the power that a woman’s sexuality may have over him.  Therefore, I submit that the rapist rapes because he can and because he knows that rape humiliates and demoralizes the victim.  In this way, the rapist regains his "power" while simultaneously taking away the woman's! 
I am sure I am not telling you anything new, but let's witness the latest news about date rape beginning with the two athletes in Ohio who were found guilty of committing sexual assault against a drunken 16-year old girl.  Next, there is the University of Rochester professor who is in hot water for posting the rhetorical question, “Should rape be illegal if the victim is unconscious, and if no physical harm results?”  He seems to equate raping an unconscious woman to someone stealing a car and bringing it back unharmed without the owner being aware that his/her car was stolen. A sort of “no harm, no foul” way of thinking, if you will. The professor goes on to say, "As long as I'm safely unconscious and therefore shielded from the costs of an assault, why shouldn't the rest of the world (or more specifically my attackers) be allowed to reap the benefits?"  Lastly, there is Rick Ross whose rap lyrics included slipping a girl a Molly, taking her home, having his way with her, and according to him, the best part was “she didn’t even know it.”  These three back-to- back examples are the tip of the iceberg regarding the latest recorded incidents of and attitudes toward sexual assault on women.   
Sexual abuse is horrible and damaging in so many ways—to the victim AND to the world at large—but I wonder how much worse those incidents are when the rape or sexual assault comes through seduction and deception.  I remember seeing a movie about a preacher who told one of his young parishioners that her having sex with him would be God’s will and bring her closer to God.  He didn’t rip her clothes off; he didn’t slap her around or cuss her out; all he did was “Jedi mind lock” her and convince her to undress and lay down her body for him.  He gets her pregnant and makes her bear the brunt and the shame of carrying his baby by herself while he ignored her as he moved on to his next young victim.   
While I know that the incidents of sexual abuse are continual, what I do not know is whether the number of sexual assaults is increasing or whether they are being reported more.  Either way, the end result is that sexual assault never goes away.  And that is the saddest part of my observation:  it never goes away.  As I write and you read this piece, some female somewhere in our world is being sexually harmed and violated.   What do you think is keeping rape alive?  Why does this insidious crime keep rearing its ugly head in this day and age when women are more at the top of their game than ever before?