/Let me begin by emphatically stating that rape does not discriminate; in any and all of its forms, rape is horrendous and damaging. I am fully aware that not all men rape; they too can be and often are the victims of sexual assault; not all women are raped and same sex rapes occur on a regular basis as well. However, while this blog is not about male bashing, it IS about female affirming! This blog is a forum dedicated to women's issues and concerns, and we are therefore going to concentrate and focus our thoughts and opinions first and foremost on women.
The subject of sexual assault against women is ever increasing and ongoing!
The first recorded rape on
earth is in Genesis 34 when Dinah is raped by Shechem. Another recorded
incident of rape is in Judges 19 with the rape of the concubine, and a third
recorded rape is in II Samuel 13 when Absalom rapes his sister, Tamar. Notice I have emphasized the word recorded
because I am confident that there were many, many more rapes during Biblical
times that were not recorded but did indeed occur. Sexual violence against women can and does
happen more than we like to think, and it happens in all venues and environments. As I always say, rape is not only about sexual
pleasure, but it is also about power and control.
I have written numerous articles and an entire book on the subject of sexual assault,
and I still do not fully understand why any man would rape when he can get someone to
meet his sexual needs. Do these men
not realize or care that there are women who are more than happy to have consensual sex with them? Do these men
not realize that many women are initiating sex, dressing for sex, talking, writing and
singing about sex and having multiple sexual partners, yet some men still
prefer to forcibly take sex! Its boggles
the mind! I wonder if it is part of this phenomenon where rapists don't want anything that is too easy. They don't like it when something is handed to them, no way, that would be too much like right! They want the unattainable, the ones that they can't or shouldn't have, the forbidden, the one who said no. I asked one of my male friends
about this issue, and he agreed that part of the reason may be that some men are
fearful of women and their power. A rapist
is fearful of the power that a woman’s sexuality may have over him. Therefore, I submit that the rapist rapes because he can and because he knows that rape humiliates and demoralizes the victim. In this way, the rapist regains his "power" while simultaneously taking away the woman's!
I am sure I am not telling you anything
new, but let's witness the latest news about date rape beginning with the two athletes
in Ohio who were found guilty of committing sexual assault against a drunken 16-year old girl. Next, there is the University of Rochester professor who is in hot water for posting the rhetorical question, “Should rape be
illegal if the victim is unconscious, and if no physical harm results?” He seems to equate raping an unconscious woman to someone stealing a car and bringing it back unharmed without the owner being aware that his/her car was stolen. A sort of “no harm, no foul” way of thinking, if you will. The professor goes on to say, "As long as I'm safely unconscious and therefore shielded from the
costs of an assault, why shouldn't
the rest of the world (or more specifically my attackers) be allowed to reap the benefits?" Lastly, there is Rick Ross whose rap lyrics included slipping a girl a Molly, taking her home, having his way with her, and according to him, the best part was “she
didn’t even know it.” These three back-to- back examples are the tip
of the iceberg regarding the latest recorded incidents of and attitudes toward sexual assault on women.
Sexual abuse is horrible and damaging in so
many ways—to the victim AND to the world at large—but I wonder how much worse those
incidents are when the rape or sexual assault comes through seduction and
deception. I remember seeing a movie
about a preacher who told one of his young parishioners that her having sex
with him would be God’s will and bring her closer to God. He didn’t rip her clothes off; he didn’t slap
her around or cuss her out; all he did was “Jedi mind lock” her and convince
her to undress and lay down her body for him. He gets her pregnant and makes her bear the
brunt and the shame of carrying his baby by herself while he ignored her as he
moved on to his next young victim.
While I know that the incidents of sexual
abuse are continual, what I do not know is whether the number of sexual assaults is increasing or whether they are being reported more. Either way, the end result is that sexual
assault never goes away. And that is the
saddest part of my observation: it never
goes away. As I write and you read this piece, some
female somewhere in our world is being sexually harmed and violated. What do you think is keeping rape alive? Why does this insidious crime keep rearing its ugly head in this day and age when women are more at the top of their game than ever before?
Hi, DJ..Your blog looks good. I thought it was ridiculous, as well, for someone to suggest that raping a person while they are unconscious as long as there is no physical damage, might not be considered rape. If that were true, it would just encourage rapists to use drugs to knock out their victims in advance. It is laughable to think that it is o.k. for someone else to have control of your body, in any way, while you are unconscious. The reason that rape has not gone away is that it is about power. The men who rape are angry against women for being able to compete with them on some level, and they want to suppress women, partially because, not despite the fact that, they are successful and at the top of their game.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree, Stephanie! Instead of working and sharing with women, some men who rape view women as competitors, who must be destroyed by any means necessary! While rape is mostly defined as an unwanted physical invasion, it certainly, without a doubt, invades the psyche of its victim, destroying a person from the inside out.
ReplyDeleteRape is never punished in such a way that it deters such monstrous behavior. I’m reminded of two Bible women Dinah and Tamar who were raped and their rapist were severely punished...by death by those who took matters into their own hands and avenged these women...On the other hand, one woman who was the wife of the king of Egypt used the threat of rape deviously to esnare Joseph an innocent man for being scorned of her sexual advances. Joseph was thrown in jail and perhaps could have been worse..but we know this story had providencial meaning unbeknowing to Joseph at the time..So, who speaks up for women who have been violated today, who will avenge them, does the punishment fit the crime? And men...be careful...let go of Delilah...she may be after your hair!
ReplyDeleteEven though you may have meant them in a rhetorical way, Buffalo Bill, let me first respond to your excellent questions! In the Biblical instances you mentioned with regard to Dinah, daughter of Jacob and Tamar, daughter of David, I certainly do think the punishments fit the crime. We don't know how these women fared for the duration of their lives, but we do know that their lives were markedly different from the lives they might have led had they not been raped and violated. The last we hear about Dinah is that she was defiled, and I believe the Bible states that Tamar lived the rest of her life confined to her brother's home. As far as who will avenge violated women, we can rest assuredly in the knowledge that God will avenge. Lastly I hope that everyone, both men and women, speaks up for the violated women of today. We can begin by not judging or blaming the victim and by not questioning what she was wearing, her lifestyle, and making other asinine accusatory remarks. And, yes, you are right that there are some women such as Potiphar's wife who falsely cry rape because they cannot get who and what they want, and there is no excuse for their behavior. Unfortunately, they just make it harder for the true rape victims' voices to be heard!
ReplyDeleteIt is my belief that violence against women for a man is not about sexual pleasure or the relief of sexual frustration because both of those matters can effectively be mitigated by self-stimulation (ie: mastrubation or bump-n-grind)... and while there are several categories of RAPIST, they all are compelled to meet the emotional need of taking control of or power over the victim so as to have them give theirself up to be violated out of fear or coercion... a willing victim would has never satisfied the need of a rapist because they need to feel that they are violating their victim.
ReplyDeleteYour confusion comes from the fact that they could very easily obtain consenual sex from a willing partner if they asked around a little bit but yet they opt to forcefully take liberty with someone whom they desire sexually but don't care enough about to garner their consent. This is a very sad reality and we need to strengthen the right of these victims regardless of where the assault my occur (ie: the military, church, education, or neighborhood etc.)